Carrying My Cross In Thigh Boots 😊
by Sanela K. Feb. 6, 2021
"If this is my Cross in life that I am supposed to carry, I am thankful for it and that it is not a cancer. I am asking only for enough strength to carry it."
- Sanela K.
We all have got our Cross to carry, but also the strength to carry it. God is never gonna give you more than you can handle or carry. And the truth is that we are totally unaware of how much we can handle and how strong we are.
At the age of twelve I was traumatized. (I know that now, but back then I had no clue, I was just a kid).
After that trauma, I was always having some problems with my "health" that medicine couldn't explain. Not even after 2 weeks in a hospital, doing all possible tests to find out where is my problem.
They let me go home as a "healthy person" and said, puberty is the diagnosis and that I should "survive".
Before they let me go home, they brought me to a specialist for children in field psychology. Read: they were desperate and brought me to a shrink for little people 😆
Well, he wrote in his report that I am traumatized and all my physical pains are just a reflection of my emotional pain. Like a filter for my emotional pain to escape out of me.
Anyhow, in balkans, parents don't take such things seriously. So, unfortunately, my parents did not feel my diagnosis was very important. They were just waiting for this problem I was suffering with to pass. It didn't....
So, okay, back then I couldn't realize what it was, but now I do.
I was suffering anxiety and had a disorder of panic attacks. Well, to this day I am still suffering from these attacks.
7 years ago when I was convinced that I was dying. I was having these attacks as much as 5x per day and suffering, suffering, suffering, I finally decided to visit a psychiatrist. Yes, I got few diagnoses.
Years of fighting against it, taking medicines, years of accepting it.
Well, I did accept it. And I did learn how to live with it. But sometimes it is a heavy burden or cross to carry.
Why am I telling you this?
Today I got great news. I have been accepted on a modeling platform, and I heard also great business news from my partner.
That made me happy and excited.
Till one moment. When I felt totally dizzy, sweating and weak.
Oh.... you would say I should visit a doctor, right? Well, I say no.
It was my body's reaction to HAPPINESS.
Yes, we who are suffering and fighting these disorders are not allowed even to be happy! Because our nervous system recognizes the emotion also as a stress.
Only those who are in a similar situation as me will understand. And you, others - you probably never will be able to comprehend this burden. But, please don't judge. At least be nice. Be there. Be silent.
I have accepted it and I am walking through my life with it. I am carrying this Cross but wearing the best boots ever as I carry it! When you have to walk through the storms in your life, ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU ARE WALKING IN Leviticus Fashions Boots!!!! It helps, I swear! 😎 And I don't lie!
#thighboots #boots #panicattack #anxiety #Godisgoodallthetime
To support The Justice Project go to : www.thejusticeproject.net
To purchase Leviticus Fashions boot designs go to : www.leviticusfashions.com/mydesigns
To see more videos of my Adventures in Thigh Boots on Leviticus Fashions YouTube channel go to : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN8FNLtdob_AKkErNok5_eg