Life I Would Like To Have
by Sanela K. June 27, 2021
"We live in every moment, but this one... Why don't we recognize the faces loving us so
What's God if not the spark that started life, Smile of a stranger, Sweet music, starry skies.. Wonder, mystery, wherever my road goes Early wake-ups in a moving home Scent of fresh-mown grass in the morning sun.. Open theme park gates waiting for
Riding the day, every day into sunset Finding the way back home!!!"
Last ride of the day - Nightwish
After being on such a short "road trip" vacation at the sea side, I am having problems making myself feel comfortable now when I am back to "normal" life. 😏
I finally felt how it feels to have a life I actually secretly always wanted. There was a time I thought that working 100 hours per week is called "making a career" and that "career" is something that everybody must have. But what is a "career" actually? I think I had a totally wrong vision about what a career actually is. Or I just wanted to achieve something I thought was a big and a good life... as someone once said: "we learn as king as we live." So, I am also learning this whole time (even though maybe I don't sound like I am 😂).
After this vacation I totally feel like I have a rock on my chest. The moment I entered my apartment, I felt like I am entering a jail and not my ordinary life. During the vacation, I felt even stronger that the getaway is a high quality life. Spending time everywhere, meeting new places, sleeping in a tent, having your water closet, clothes and also bed in a van - BEING FREE. And after this adventure, coming back to "normal" life feels just like entering a jail. When you have to come back to ordinary, small bornig stuff, you are not satisfied with... that is called "punch of reality" in my stomach.
I am wondering if I am ever gonna get this kind of life I want for myself. Not being a slave of a system, but being free and happy.
I even loved to wake up early during the trip. I normally hate early awakening, and I am real sleeping beauty 🤣🤣🤣 who can sleep for 100 years till the prince comes and kisses me. 😂 And this "sleeping beauty" loved to wake up early o my vacation, and I was excited and happy about every new day. No panic attacks, no bad moods, no stress and no overthinking. I realized how my attacks and other problems are just a product of me not being in the right place in my life. Which also makes sense. Okay, people say childhood trauma, could also be the problem I have, but when you live a life as you want and when you are actually satisfied with your life - you can conquer those traumas. And that is something I realized on this trip. When you have a right person by your side, someone you love and care about, a van and freedom.... you win in your life.
O course, we all see life differently, but to be honest, at the moment, I am very jealous of those who already have those things, this kind of life, on those who realized worth of life and freedom at the right time. Those who are but fighting our "normal" lifestyles.
Imagine waking up every day in a different place, different country.... seeing stuff, enjoying nature and it's powerful ability to heal you. Isn't it something like heaven on earth???
I really hope that someday I am gonna be free... because what we normally call "freedom" is really just existing and doing what you "have to do" but not loving or enjoying it.
I always wanted to travel but also always was a slave of a system and thinking: "yeah, this is adult life, I am doing it great."
Well... I really want some winds of change to blow through my life. A really strong one. To move me in the right direction. To set me free. 🌊
To support The Justice Project and the fight against human trafficking go to : www.thejusticeproject.net
To purchase Leviticus Fashions boot designs go to : www.leviticusfashions.com/mydesigns
To watch videos of my Adventures in Thigh Boots on Leviticus Fashions YouTube channel go to : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN8FNLtdob_AKkErNok5_eg