Life Update
by Sanela K. Oct. 19, 2021
Lately I feel like my head is full and totally empty at the same time đ
Please, just don't ask me how because I have no idea. Didn't even know that something like that is possible! đ Maybe because I had zero time for myself, or at least truly not enough. I had a lot of night shifts, including this one, and during my daily shifts I was just excited about taking a shower after I got home and then into my bed. đ Such an old lady I am now. đ”
I arranged more appointments than I actually have time for. đ Even when I am supposed to get some rest, I have to run here and there because I have decided to totally check my health and pray they don't find anything. đ Except what already exists and I know about. đ You know, we, old ladies have to check our health regularly. đ Just a joke, just a joke! I actually didn't check it for almost 2 years and it's already time to take a little bit care of it.
But that takes really a lot of time and energy from me. I even wore flat shoes on the street for a few days. Well, now you know how serious I am. đđ Because I am totally not a person for wearing flat shoes, which is obvious. đ
Yesterday after my nightshift I took a taxi on my way home and the lady who was driving it was really talkative for someone who is just finishing nightshift. đ She thought I was out for fun at the casino. Well, my lady, I was at work, just like you. đ€Ł She said how young I am and how I am supposed to go out, have some fun, think about fun stuff etc etc... and I was thinking, yeah, that would be the situation if I am still 17 and still in high school. đ Austrian young people are a bit different. More focused on fun stuff. I don't say that's bad, I am just saying not all of us had that luck to be born Austrian. Some of us are from Croatia and we don't know what it means to live a life without stress. đ
That drive was short anyway and even though the lady was really nice, I was just waiting for the moment to get out of the car and enter my apartment. But it seemed she wanted to talk a few seconds more. And at 5 AM, a few seconds feels like a year. đ
Today things are kinda chill at work. At least that is a good thing. Because lately we really had A LOT to do and A LOT of stress. It seemed like all of Graz just suddenly got a lot of money to spend in a Casino. đđđ Once I was here for a short visit on my day off, and one of our guests asked if I came to play. đ Well, dude, first, I don't gamble and also I would never gamble, and second, I have no idea what made him think I have been paid that well to be able to gamble in a casino. đđđ Interesting. But anyhow, if we wouldn't have players, we wouldn't have jobs, so there is something good in it, I guess. For us. Sometimes for them too, when they win. đ
I have 4 more hours to go and tomorrow is my day off. đ
Well, on my days off I have appointments and also those are "cleaning days" for my apartment. Ah, what a crazy young life I liveđđđ My life is really totally different than I ever imagined it, but it's okay. It's still better than it was a few months ago. And now I am taking a "mind pause". Like, hey, it's okay for now and I don't want to plan anything. I was planning for things my whole life and some ideas really became real, but then I realized it wasn't what I really wanted. When I saw what it is and how it feels. I think that the saying: "be careful what you wish for, maybe you may get it" is really deep and truthful. I can tell you this from my experiences. Or maybe I just had a wrong vision for a while. But, we learn as long as we are alive. And our experiences make us grow, so I don't regret almost anything. Only the things I pushed till my last limit, but still, if I hadn't done that, I would still be asking myself "what if" or "could it be any better" or I would doubt my decisions to give up some stuff, jobs, people... Now I am sure about all those things and I really think I am a person who needs it. Even sometimes when it isn' t good for me. Enough philosophy! đ
I ordered a ew phone with a much much better camera!!!! And I am so excited!!! It will just take a while till I get it. But at least you will be able to see better photos and not these "toaster photos" of mine. đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
I am kinda behind all millenial kids who already changed through 174629 of new models of phones.
But well, I was never that rich in money! đ
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