It's OK To Be Sad & Jesus Loves Us

Well the week flew by….Saturday came, and my mind and body apparently held a meeting without me. The decision? “Hey Shelley, we’re going to have a complete breakdown today.” Cool. Love that for us.

I’d had a headache for two days that would not let up. I think the weather had something to do with it, but whatever the cause, it took me OUT. I wanted to lie down in a quiet room and do absolutely nothing. My three-year-old, however, had other plans. He does not care that Mommy has a headache when there is a perfectly good human jungle gym sitting right there.

And somewhere in the middle of that day, I started to cry.

When I was growing up, crying wasn’t something we were encouraged to do. You might hear, “If you’re going to cry, I’ll give you something to cry about.” I want to pause here and say my parents are amazing people. They were human, they were doing their best, and that isn’t something they say today. But as a kid, I learned pretty quickly to hold my tears in. As I got older, I started to see crying as weakness.

Healing has meant unlearning that. I’ve had to teach myself how to feel something, name it, and figure out what to do with it. Then I became a mother and had to help my children learn to handle their feelings while I was still learning how to handle mine. Talk about a challenge.

Life has been life-ing in every area lately, and on Saturday I had a moment. That’s what it was: a moment. My life wasn’t falling apart. I needed a good cry, and that was okay.

Normally, I try to cry away from my kids. This time, I let myself cry in my room. I want my children to know they don’t have to hide their sadness, so I let my son see mine.

Luca was in full superhero attire, busy battling a bad guy. The second he noticed me crying, he stopped and came to my side.

“It’s okay, Mama. Mama, it’s okay to be sad.”

He handed me tissues. Then, while I was on the phone with my mom, my sweet boy said, “It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad sometimes, but Jesus loves us.”

Well. Now I was crying for a whole different reason.

In the middle of a hard day, my son gave me the words I’ve been trying to teach him. I felt proud of him, and honestly, a little proud of myself. I’m still learning. I don’t always get it right. But I’m showing my children that feelings are safe to have, and Saturday reminded me that they’re hearing me.

I’m also still learning to remember that God is in control, especially when my mind is running through every possible outcome. Whatever He has planned for me is greater than what I can see from here. I can have a hard moment, let myself feel it, and keep going.

Preferably after the headache goes away. And, of course, in my Leviticus boots.

To support The Justice Project and the fight against human trafficking go to www.thejusticeproject.net

To purchase Leviticus Fashions boot designs go to www.leviticusfashions.com