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Where are the sleepless nights I used to live for?

by Sanela K. Jan 31, 2021

"Where is the wonder,

where is the awe?

Where are the sleepless nights

I used to live for?

Before the years take me,

I wish to see the lust in me! ๐ŸŒŒ

I want my tears back!" ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽต๐ŸŽค๐ŸŽธ

- Nightwish (I want my tears back)

I would probably just change this part "I want my tears back" into "I want my YEARS back" !!๐Ÿ˜†

But years don't come back. ๐Ÿ˜‚

And right now I have only tears of laughter!!!

Oh, I had a few restless nights in a row! One night I didn't sleep at all! ๐Ÿ™„

Can you imagine not sleeping all night?! ๐Ÿ˜†

Sometimes I have panic attacks at night and it is the cross I am carrying for many years. Like, since I was 13 years old. Oh, wait, that's almost 14 years. ๐Ÿค”

Who said I cannot have a long term relationship??????? 14 YEARS ALREADY!!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ

At least, some relationships work. ๐Ÿ˜†

Not the desirable one but is a relationship ๐Ÿ˜œ My godparents will be so proud of me!

When I was younger I had so many sleepless nights because I suffered Insomnia for many years, but back then I was full of strength and used those nights to sing and dance with my friends. I remember nights when I was just dancing in front of my big 100,000 year old mirror ๐Ÿ˜† till in the morning with loud music.

Oh, my poor parents. ๐Ÿ˜†

Luckily my dad was always snoring (never thought I am gonna say the word "LUCKILY" with SNORING) and he didn't hear anything or at least he wasn't that sensitive to my escapades. ๐Ÿ˜

I was such a night bird. I miss those times. I have been really wondering for a very long time where are those sleepless nights I used to live for??????????? When did I grow up??? All of my old friends are somewhere far away, in other lands, living adult lives. I think they also don't have those sleepless nights anymore. ๐Ÿค”

If they do, I AM VERY JEALOUS of them!!!!!

Imagine having such nights of dancing in front of the mirror now when I finally have the best boots in the world!!! And back then I had some cheap version of whatever the heck I was wearing๐Ÿ˜†

Because, that's what poor girls have: whatever the heck footwear. ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

I would like to treat myself to one of those old sleepless nights with my boots right now, but how?? I cannot even dance in front of a mirror anymore ๐Ÿ™ˆ

Nowadays, if I am having a sleepless night, the reason is always that my brain has a party, without my body.

It's like when you have some crazy neighbors who have fun the whole freakin' night and ignore your need to have some rest. That's what my brain is doing with me ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

The truth is that we can be our best friend but also our worst enemy in life.

Sanela against Sanela. Wow, girls fight! ๐Ÿ˜† Catfight!

So far I am in peace with everyone else but myself! What irony!

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Sanela, watch out, Sanela is coming! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

A little party never did hurt any body! - but staying awake all night without breathing just might!!. LOL!

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